Can't explain how I feel, just very emo

Do you feel excited and intrigued when you are about to embark on a new TV series? Particularly a romantic series. However, toward the concluding chapter, you will feel lost. Just because you won't be able to indulge yourself in that story anymore. More than often, I feel the way I just penned.

10 hours ago, I finished watching the dreadful end of 步步惊心. When dawn arrived, I woke up and felt like something was weighing on my chest. Pretty dramatic but I was so devastated over the ending! This must be the most depressing conclusion I have ever come across. The emperor had to let his love one leave the palace despite his reluctance.

Her physique was deteriorating and on top of that, the pain of missing the emperor further escalated her health issue. Knowing full well that she didn't have much time left, she wrote a letter to him which he did not come to read. Ruoxi struggled to wait 3 days to see him. She thought that he still hated her for what she had unknowingly done to cause pain to many. Alas, she passed away, holding his favourite flower. When news reached the emperor, he flared up in sorrow and search through the pile of letters for what she had sent.

It was unintentional on his part for not visiting her for the last time. She kept the 3 prized possessions, which were his gifts - an arrow, a hair pin and a snuff box. Since the story first originated from 2011, after Ruoxi died, she returned to the modern world. Then she went to research on the Qing dynasty to see if anything had changed due to her appearance. Everything was unchanged. But the character Ruoxi didn't seem to be recorded in history.

Whilst viewing the Qing dynasty artifacts in the museum, she realized that she did existed in that era as she stumbled across someone who looked alike and wore the very same hair pin given by the emperor and the bangle given by her first love. At that realization, she turned around to see the emperor look alike, whom must have been the reincarnation of the emperor. However, he did not recognize her. Tears then slide down her cheeks as she painfully watch him walk away from her.

What kind of story concludes like that! As if the Qing dynasty ending wasn't horrible enough. The torture has to be reemphasized in the 21 century. Regardless of the conclusion, the entire plot was beautiful. I love this show. Although there weren't any supporting English subtitles, I had to barely scrape through the Chinese characters. I must say, I think my Chinese has improved. They used 1234567th idioms in this show!!!!

Don't think it's preposterous that I feel emotional. This story truly evoked the love in the appearance of sincerity, honesty, protective and genuinely unalike to what is present in our days. I sure do dig such dorky guys. Hmmm.. Anyway, the story is currently showing on Channel 8. I don't want to put myself through the suffering again but perhaps I will re-watch it when I return in June.

*walk away from laptop feeling emoooo